CAPS Introduces New “Ball-and-Stick With Smiley Faces” Counseling Unit

WESTWOOD — In an effort to keep up with the rising demand of students seeking mental health treatment, UCLA Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) announced the creation of an entirely new unit of counselors consisting of balls on sticks painted to have smiley faces. “It’s just like talking to an actual CAPS Psychologist. They just sit there and make you feel heard without offering anything of substance,” noted trial-run third year psychology student Mackenzie Adler. “And the best part is, it only took me two months to get an appointment; seeing an actual therapist would have taken way longer!” At press time, the project was in such high demand that students would be limited to three sessions per year, after which they would be referred to a variety of stuffed animal therapists in the community.