WESTWOOD — UCLA’s dating app scene made an historic push toward body positivity Tuesday, when 6’2 third-year Brant Jacobs removed his height from his Tinder bio. “Why should I get all the girls just because I’m tall with shredded abs, while my boy Ryan gets zero pussy?” Jacobs pondered last night, halting the music at a roaring frat party to give an erudite oration on the sexual politics of the modern era. “Just ‘cause he’s 5’7? That’s not right, bro.” At press time, Jacobs could reportedly be seen making a “very sad” face in reaction to Texas’ recent abortion ban.
