Marvel Announces 525,949 New Marvel Movies For Next Year
HOLLYWOOD — Today at the Hollywood Comics Convention, Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige announced 525,949 new Marvel movies would come out next year. “Audiences around […]
Articles by Vincent Le
Dad Steals Baby’s Nose
LOS ANGELES—Police have arrested local man Joseph Gutierrez in connection with stealing his baby’s nose. Gutierrez’s wife witnessed him playing with their son on Wednesday when […]
South Campus Runs Military Training Exercises Near North Campus Border
WESTWOOD—Declaring that South Campus is the only true campus, members of the South Campus Confederation ran military training exercises near the North Campus border on […]
U.S. Ranks 39th in Education, 1st in Kicking Ass
WASHINGTON—The U.S. is declining in several metrics of social progress, found a Pew Research Study, but is still number 1 in annihilating ass. According to […]
Particle Physicists Admit They’re Just Making Shit Up
GENEVA—Last Thursday, particle physicists at the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN) admitted that they were just completely making up bullshit that sounded smart and […]