Articles by Dylan Wood
Gruntled Employee Brings In Cupcakes
PHOENIX— Law enforcement responded to a call this morning from the Phoenix Post Office after Joanne Baker, a gruntled former employee, brought in cupcakes. “Once […]
Meeting That Could Have Been Zoom Call Could Have Been Email
CLAYTON, MO— For the third time this week, employees at Enterprise Rent-A-Car were dismayed to learn that they would be required to attend a meeting […]
Cancel Culture Gone Too Far? LMFAO Forced To Apologize For Party Rockin’
LOS ANGELES — In what some are decrying as “cancel culture run amok,” electronic dance music duo LMFAO is being called on by critics to […]
New Documentary Reveals Existence Of Secret Fourth Beatle
LIVERPOOL — In stunning never-before-seen footage, the new documentary “The Beatles: Get Back” appears to suggest the existence of a previously unknown fourth member of […]
Joe Bruin Put Down
WESTWOOD — The UCLA community was struck by an unexpected tragedy late last night, when it was announced that school mascot Joe Bruin had been […]
Hentai Enthusiasts Sue “Squid Game” Creators For False Advertisement
LOS ANGELES — In a suit filed Monday, fans of the Japanese art form known as “hentai” alleged that streaming company Netflix had engaged in […]
You Win Some, You Lose Some: The Dog That Was Elected Mayor Of A Small Town Was Just Pancaked By A Cement Mixer
HUCKLEBERRY GROVE, KY — Amid the drama of last year’s election, the people of Huckleberry Grove made headlines across the nation when they elected a […]
Facebook Announces Name Change, Now “The Facebook” Again
MENLO PARK, CA — The conglomerate formerly known as Facebook, Inc. announced Thursday that it would be changing its company name back to “The Facebook”. […]
Weapons Of Mass Destruction Mourn Passing Of Colin Powell: “He Always Believed In Us, Even When No One Else Did”
CLOUD CUCKOO LAND — In a statement released this morning out of the realm of imagination, Saddam Hussein’s Weapons of Mass Destruction mourned the death […]