Archaeologists Discover First Woman To Ever Put “Future Milf” In Her Tinder Bio

WESTWOOD — A team of UCLA archaeologists announced Monday that, after years of digging, they have uncovered the first woman to ever write “future milf” in her Tinder bio. “This woman is the foremother of thousands of sorority girls who think they’re funny and original,” said Dr. Mary Lee, the lead archaeologist on the project and a former future MILF herself. “Her impact on society today, but mostly on dating apps, marks a paradigm shift that will go down in the annals of history.” At press time, the archaeology team had been awarded a coveted grant to search for the first man to ever include “6’2 if it matters” in his bio.

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