Area Cat Contemplates Sisyphean Nature Of Licking Itself Clean
WESTWOOD—Local cat Fluffy Winship Lion the Fourth was in the process of his regularly scheduled licking session when his tongue stopped and the existential dread […]
WESTWOOD—Local cat Fluffy Winship Lion the Fourth was in the process of his regularly scheduled licking session when his tongue stopped and the existential dread […]
SACRAMENTO–Clarifying that he is not actually interested in getting fit, new runner Joshua Miller announced on social media that he is only interested in running […]
CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA—A study conducted by researchers at the University of Virginia concluded that nothing beats just hanging out and having a good time with the […]
CHICAGO, IL—Scientists at the University of Chicago have concluded a two-year long study that proves legalized dueling would be a highly effective method of reducing […]
WESTWOOD–Local man Martin Thompson was surprised today when his daily prophecy was delivered to him by a different gypsy woman than usual. “Usually when I’m […]
ALBUQUERQUE—Former Governor of New Mexico Gary Johnson revealed today that he intends to run for president in 2018. “After a lot of thinking, it is […]
With President Trump in the White House and the country increasingly divided, here’s some heartwarming political news we can all feel good about: one of […]
WESTWOOD—Teaching Assistant Victoria Ivanov was reportedly just basking in students’ dumbfounded silence following a “vague question” in this week’s discussion for an upper-division political science […]
CABO SAN LUCAS, MEXICO—In anticipation of rowdy Spring Break crowds, the resort town of Cabo San Lucas has begun to draft and implement a variety […]
WESTWOOD–Claiming that this is the third or fourth time in class today and probably the tenth time this week, many students enrolled in 19th-Century American […]
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