Angered Deity Smites Man Drinking From Red Starbucks Cup
WESTWOOD — Michael Burke, native resident and longtime frequenter of Starbucks Coffee, was punished with divine fury this past Monday outside a local chain after […]
Month: December 2015
Student Resents Professor’s Chinese Accent, Totally Fine With TA’s Italian Accent
WESTWOOD — According to sources, UCLA student Neil Taegan, known for openly mocking Economics Professor Hui Li’s Chinese accent, has no qualms about T.A. Sofia […]
Student Gets Head Start On Test, Asshole Status
WESTWOOD — Attempting to give himself more time on his exam Tuesday, second-year Statistics-major Mike Foster got a head start on his Math 33A final as […]
Donald Trump Calls For Santa’s Workshop To Be Relocated To US
NEW YORK CITY — At a press conference in the Trump Tower this past Thursday, Donald Trump demanded that Santa Claus relocate his workshop to […]
PETA Denounces Cruel Treatment Of Bruin Bear
WESTWOOD — Following UCLA administration’s decision to put a large protective box around the Bruin Bear statue in Bruin Plaza for “Rivalry Week,” People for […]