Banana-Smuggling Cartel Busted At B-Plate
WESTWOOD—In a development that has left the UCLA community speechless, a banana-smuggling cartel was found early Sunday evening to be operating out of UCLA’s newest […]
Month: December 2014
Local School Shuns Seesaw For Fat-Shaming
BRENTWOOD—In an unfortunate incident that drew the attention of parents and plump kids across the country, Heatherwood Elementary School’s Leslie Mitchell found himself unable to […]
Sea Creatures Invade Land; Land Creatures Encouraged To Take Flight
EARTH—In light of the sudden mass migration of vast amounts of sea life onto the shores of the world, scientists across the globe issued statements […]
Freshman Not Yet BFFs With Roommate
WESTWOOD—Julia Lin, a UCLA freshman living in a double in Hedrick Hall, admitted today that she had not yet managed to become best friends with […]
Professor Has Sex With Student In Exchange For Positive BruinWalk Review
WESTWOOD—Trying to improve his abysmally low rating on the popular instructor evaluation site bruinwalk.com Monday, UCLA Statistics professor Phil Tennyson had sexual intercourse with one […]